The Borivli Chrchgate Local Commuter (Swapnil Agaskar)

Based on my experience and observation, travelling in the Borivli-Churchgate local commuter. Article contains some local Indian dialect and have tried to convert it to English for the International reader. Hope you like it.

June 2003

It's been almost 13 years since I have travelled in the peak hours in the western railway commuter and even then I used to take trains before 8am. So basically it's the first time that I have travelled at the rush hour at a routine basis. I have travelled in emergencies, taking the Goregaon local or any other reasonable train once in a while to go to Churchgate during office hours but this has been my first fortnight of regular travelling in the Borivili-Churchgate local commuter.

One thing I can tell you is nothing much has changed in the last 13 years. People still shout 'Aey Baasi Vada' (teasing a railway canteen owner about his stale goods..) at Gupta in Bandra. You still hear the classics like 'Abey soya tha kya?' (..where you sleeping?? when someone is late in getting down and blocking the boarding commuters), 'Tere baap ka gaadi hai kya??' (..think your father owns this train??), 'Naya aaya kya??' (..new around here??) and 'Niche utar, dikhata hoon' (..come out of the train and I'll show you what I am..)..most of these are broadcasted thru the divider grill between the first Class and the Second Class. In the First Class you get to hear slogans like 'You don't teach me how to stand' and 'why don't you go in Taxi then..Huh??'.
The only thing that has changed is the crowd..it has increased three times (plus 1 from last Monday)

I underwent a very useful induction program a few days before I started my crusade to work. At the end of it my wife had convinced me that I need to travel 'Return'. This is a mode where you spent about 30 minutes extra but travel in slight comfort. The advice was to get on a Borivli train at Kandivli and then wait for that train to leave for Churchgate once it reaches Borivli.

There were some more serious suggestions coming from friends like ' 8.30 ke pehle office pahuch ja yaar...train ka problem nahi hoga' (..reach office before 8.30 and you wont have any problems) or '10/10.30 ke baad office se nikalne ka..Aaram se travel kar sakta hai' (..or leave office after 10.30). One suggestion was to travel in the Luggage compartment!! 'Arey First class se to kam gardi rahta hai vaha pe' (..it's less crowded than the First Class!!)..but anyways I have been following my wife's advise and for the last 2 weeks been travelling on one of Western railways most travelled excursion route KLI-BVI-CCG and am now on the 'Frequent Frier' list of the Railways. I bet the railways coaches are hotter than Roman baths. The only advantage of travelling in the train again is that my affair with my Walkman has rejuvenated.

Now there's one thing to get on to a return train at Kandivli but the objective is to get a seat for yourself. For this you really need to 'Get On' to it...the trick is to be in your seat before the train stops at the platform. Now we have done this in our college days but here I was in the comeback phase..and I'm not the higly talented Clint Eastwood or the highly influential Azharuddin as far as the second coming is concerned.

Boarding a running train against it's direction is no rocket science but I tell you it involves a lot of Physics!! You wait at the edge of the platform along with the others as if this was the last train in the world with only one thing in mind..the 16"X16" throne you need to conquer. As the rake slides into the quay the grip tightens as you shift into the Adrenalize mode. You wait for the yellow/red stripes of the first class coach to be seen (thats one usability factor I love about the railways), the stripes rapidly turn into a blur as the equation of motion/distance/vision comes into play.

One thing I have understood is if you grab the door handle with the left hand and pull yourself into the coach, you tend to pivot to your left facing the door partly and losing priceless seconds in turning back and making a dash for the seat. On the contrary if you grab the center pole with your right hand and pull yourself in you tend to catapult yourself directly into the coach..inertia at play!!

You pause for a fraction in the middle of the door landing and your eyes scan all the vacant spaces. The brain immediately processes the data and allots you a seat and by the time the data is compiled you are sliding on the blue rexine....processing and ergonomics..at it's best!!

As the train moves out of Kandivli you are checking your belongings, touch your back pocket to feel the presence of the wallet, broken shirt buttons, your cellphone which had slid into your hip pocket from your breast pocket as you got ready to board, the damage done to your shoe-shine, etc...thank heavens I dont wear specs yet. By the time the train reaches Borivli I'm wiping my brow with the towel napkin I carry specially for the train journey.

Almost all the seats are full now, infact you'll be lucky to get a second seat at Kandivli bcoz there are the 'Mega Frequent Friers' who have backtracked from 2 stations ahead of Kandivli and occupied the window and the second seats. Borivli people are 'Born To Stand'....they have no right whatsoever to sit..there's no place anyways.

Seconds before the train halts at Borivli the coach is packed like a can of sardines. My cubicle is surrounded by a human wall so strong thick that even 'Davy Becky' cant score a goal thru. I cant see beyond my cubicle but can visualise people from the comments they are making...'Areey Asoak..kaale kya hata?? chumalish pakdi?? achhaa achhaa' (..hey Ashok, where were you yestday?? caught the 45? Oh..ok!!)..another one wants to know if 'Mr Saa'
has bought any dhokla or samosa. Some one on the far cubicle is far too pissed off....he wants to know who the *#@^* it was who stumbled in the doorway.

By the time the train starts off from Borivli my napkin has changed it's physical properties and I'm mopping my face just like the janitor would be mopping the lobby of my office building when I reach there. I put my Nokia on 'Vibrator' and plug in my earpipes. I'd rather listen to Bob Dylan, Mark Knopfler and Axel Rose than be involved in all the stupid conversation going around.

All said and done the cubilcle itself is a highly interesting multimedia presentation. The cubicle I refer to consists of 6 seating and 2 standees. 3 passengers sit opposite each other, 2 stand in the cross aisle between the seat. Outside the cubicle are people who are part of the human wall.

Most of the time there are just 2 seated persons who are awake, myself and some other guy who keeps staring into space, wondering what he is doing here. The other 4 are asleep even before the train leaves Borivli. As the train moves on they sway gently, sweat profusely, wake up suddenly and look around to get their bearings and go back to sleep. One standee is reading his paper and the one standing behind him has sworn that he will read all the content of the advertisements and instructions written on the coach wall and ceiling curve.

But the cubicle is not dead everyday.....sometimes I'm surrounded by technology! Someone would be rattling on & on, on his cellphone..I'm sure his company pays the bill. A chap opposite is exploring his newly bought handset and the slight glow on his face tells you he has understood yet another new feature of the instrument. One guy is busy typing 'morse code' on his nokia, while 2 friends are exchanging features of their phones and swapping ringtones.

There are constant calls coming in and going out and the interference caused is a real 'pain in the ears' to me on such a Technology Day. Amongst all this you find a chap staring into the blue screen of his sleek, multi-featured, lightweight Reliance India Mobile phone which does everything except send and recieve phone calls...It's too high-tech and costly a gadget to be used as a paper weight!! I'm sure he must be dying to see his own fingers slapped across Dhirubhai's other cheek in the stupid 'Karlo duniya...' campaign.

On other days it's Technology Unleashed when I land up amongst a regular group of about 4 GSM and 2 Reliance phone users. This is the day I get a lot of 'gyan' on WILL, CDMA and GSM. 'Arey you know in akkha USA there is no GSM..they use CDMA technology there, maalum hai??' A Reliance user defends his decision forgetting that this is India. 'You can connect it to a computer, you can get news on this' says the other....'Lekin phone lagta hai kya?? Phayda kya baaki sare facility ka??' (..but does the phone connect?)..the debate goes on throughout the journey..

On a lucky day I am surrounded by intellectuals!! As the crowds pours in at Borivli a smart alec, who has probably backtracked from Goregaon or Malad, proclaims 'Aaje baddha naya loka che..baddha naya loka!!' (...today all new faces mann!!) to his friends who have managed to stumble to the cubicle but could'nt find a place to seat. I give him a hard stare and that guy doesnt look back at me for the next 45 mins.

Now these guys think they are the Michael Douglases and Charlie Sheens of Wall Street. One of them would be reading a religious 'pothi' almost throughout the journey, probably praying for a similar or a better seat tomorrow. The other are already down to bizness. 'Rudra chemicals utha...boss I tell you it is going to reach the sky' claims one person and rolls off 3-4 more tips for his friends. I wonder why this guy is still travelling in this train. He reminds me of the fortune teller who used to sit in the Topiwala lane with his parrot and cards when I was in school. He never managed to understand his own fortune and act accordingly. I bet he still sits there with his cards although maybe the parrot is an upgraded 3.0beta version or something.

One of the guy wants to sell most of his stock..'Dikrani engineering ni admission karvani che' (..gotta enrol my kid in the engineering college). He is immediately advised on what to sell and what not to. What kind of engineering one asks him..computers obviously..Ha yaar, the other one says, 'Aaj kal US me to bahut demand che computer programmer ka'..'Newzealand Australia me bhi chance milta hai unko' (...computer programmers are in demand in the US..NZ and Australia are hot too) adds another who probably uses Tally in his office.

They discuss high profile corporates too...'Mukesh Ambani to baniya hai re..aur Anil Ambani yeda hai..usko dhanda karne ko nahi aata' (..the Ambani brothers dont know how to run their business)..thats the reason Anil Ambani drives a Porsche and this guy is sweating it out in the commuter!!

A dog may be Man's best friend but on the day it first rained..I think it was Wednesday, I found that the newspaper took the dog's place. Freshly bought newspapers, some unread, were used to wipe the seats and stuffed into the window slits to prevent the water dripping in. I learnt that the Economic Times absorbs more than the Times Of India. An expert claimed that it had to do with the paper quality and the quality of ink used to print the papers.

All and all, it's been a great experience. I am waiting for a cricket match to happen. I would love to travel in the company of Sunny Gavaskar, Harsha Bhogle, Ravi Shastri and Sir Geoffery Boycott!! That day I'll give my Sony Walkman a day off!!

From what I have written above I like to remind you that this is in Bombay and not in Ahmedabad or Baroda..It's just the timing that gives me this 'Art' Company. But it's not that there are only Gujjus in the compartment..there are a few Maharashtrians here and there but they prefer to talk only in the Queen's Language..and the way they do....God Save The Queen!!